Play a Day: Robert Hawkes is a Vampire

David L. Munnell

For Sunday, I read Robert Hawkes is a Vampire by David L. Munnell and posted at New Play Exchange.

There are people in your life who, though you may have only known them a relatively short span, occupy such a grand picture in your imagination, embodying such a familiar type and yet entirely unique unto themselves, that it feels that not only have they always been with you, they have always been. Such a man is Robert Hawkes.

I call him Robert Hawkes. I think we all do. Can’t call him Hawkes, or Mister Hawkes, certainly not Robert or any of its diminutives, he is Robert Hawkes. English teacher, actor, playwright, lover, bonvivant, curmudgeon, that old guy you get to do the outdoor Shakespeare.

He played Lear to my Kent. We like to tweak each other on Facebook. He is one classy fuck.

It makes complete sense that David Munnell would choose to create a play with Robert Hawkes as the central character, because someone had to. And he has created a remarkable simulacrum of the old man, one who enjoys words, the company of women, and a microwave dinner.

It would not surprise me at all to discover he is actually a vampire, though it does make me shudder to think of all the driving back and forth to Lakewood we did.

Robert Hawkes
(Vampire)

The point being, it makes perfect sense that Munnell would make Robert Hawkes into the character at the center of this play because we all have a Robert Hawkes. Some of us have two. This could also be my wife’s grandfather. You don’t have to know Robert Hawkes for this to work, because you someone who is. Inquiries could include a request to change the name to the guy like that in your town. 

Some day, I will be Robert Hawkes. I lie awake at night, wondering if I already am.

The night in question, a trio of women (Fates? Weird Sisters? Wives of Dracula?) visit Robert Hawkes in his home in search of ancient and forbidden knowledge, the Vampyr Prognostica. And they have a dance of language, which is the best kind of dance, and you are led to wonder if he is, in fact, a vampire, or just some guy who has read a lot of books.

I mean, it’s right there in the title. But you still wonder.

This is a gothic mystery with a great deal of wry and witty wordplay, and also a copiously horrific amount of blood which is also delightful.

Who should I read tomorrow?