Reflections of an Impromptu Reunion

If you had asked to make a list of the five people I would probably see at a 20 year O.U. School of Theater reunion, I would have guessed Ben and Litz. I may not have automatically suggested the other four to be Ricky, Billy and Heather. But I have had the most amazing time this weekend, and the unexpected mix made for a sweet, relaxing reminiscence on my time at school, and really energized me for the future.

Litz

To put it another way, I expected an enjoyable trod over familiar ground. I was not expecting a life-changing experience.

I have revisited my college years often. Too often. Two years ago I made an exercise of blogging all of my comic strips, with photos and sound bites and everything. But I knew all those things and was projecting them outward.

I have used skills I learned here as a performer and used them in my work, but have often thought my skills were limited by a narrow emotional outlook, and assumed most of what I know or can do I picked up in my time since.

The idea of touring the campus seemed like a waste of time. I know the campus. I lived here. And because of family I return to Athens three or four times a year. I know this place. There is nothing more to learn.

But to listen ... to listen to the time as experienced through others. To hear their interactions with the space and these people. The walk on paths I have not gone down in two decades, to allow myself to be led, rather than leading. To be as one self, not defined as father or husband or co-worker or as the member of an ensemble, to move freely as myself with these select few, who know me as well as I know them (which in some cases was not that much) tied by a moment in time and shared experiences that exist separate from life as I live it every day.

I keep thinking, "This is where we walked, swam, hunted, danced and sang."

Ricky

Spending time with Denny Dalen, whom I have been negligent in visiting. A mentor whose tie I broke simply by leaving and not looking back. How much I learned from him. He brought some of the best work out of me. And we bowled once. He said Balm In Gilead was the best show he ever directed there. And I am not putting down the 21 years since to suggest it was my best performance.

Ricky reminded me of the discipline we learned, and how important it was never to fear trying absolutely anything. You don't know the definition of a word? Make a choice, take a risk, move forward. Better to be fabulously wrong than do nothing, dither, argue or sulk.

Ben reminded me of Louis' version of a check-in. "How are we feeling today?" "Hungover." "Good, we will do the warm-up hungover today." The work has to be done, no excuses, no blame.

I was impressed by the magnitude of Seabury's Playwrights Festival. But I was reminded that we did good work, too. I saw the pictures.

On Sunday afternoon we walked through East and South Greens, it was a hot day, very sunny. We headed for Eldridge's archway, beneath Siegfried and sat in the shade, on the cement steps, for ninety minutes. For the first time in recent memory, time stood still. There was nowhere else to go. And the memories continued.

Finally - and I can only assume it was never anyone's intention to be POIGNANT for fuck's sake - Dave Litz (of all people) asked if we were satisfied with where we were, twenty years on. If this is what we expected, or if it fell short. And this was when I was happiest of all. Because we were theater majors (most of us) and because you are studying performance, there is an expectation, from without and within, for success. For fame. For great achievement - great public achievement.

with Denny

And yet none of us could say we were disappointed. We were all happy where we are, what we have done, who we know and love and where our paths have taken us.

I wanted to be a famous actor. I still could be. I wanted to be a successful writer, I am working on that. But I also needed a rock-solid emotional life, a partner to share my years with, and children who give me perspective and make it all make sense. And though I did not acquire any of those things in college, I would not have them without the work I did to become the person I am in this place.

We are packing up to go now. Tomorrow the great work continues. I wanted to have a good time with this reunion, I did not imagine it would be transformative. And that's something else I learned here - you have to stop looking so hard if desire to be surprised.

Or as Zelda puts it, "you get what you get, and don't get upset."

See you in 2030.