I Hate This (The Silver Collection)

Photo by Anthony Gray Photography

Since 2002, I have performed I Hate This, live and in-person, forty-four times. Is that a lot? I was put into the company of A Christmas Carol in 2024 and over the course of four weeks I put in twenty-nine performances.

A long time ago, I realized this was a piece I would return to for the rest of my life, whether I wanted to or not. But how? I mean, it’s supposed to be a personal piece of storytelling, but the subject matter, stillbirth, is challenging. I’m not afraid of it, the audience is. I cannot blame them.

And how do I make reproducing the play relevant? How do I tell it again, in a manner that is honest, that isn’t just a reproduction of the original? To tell this story so that it is helpful, edifying (edify: instruct or improve) and also entertaining? That attending is not a chore, but a worthwhile experience? And might I suggest, an enjoyable evening?

Every five years since the birth of our first child, I have been able to retell the story in different ways. In 2006 we broadcast a radio drama. In 2011, I paired the piece with another solo performance. In 2016, I had a one night only performance with a few new adjustments. And in 2021 we created the film.

For this year, the 25th birth anniversary of our first child, and to commemorate Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (October) I will be embarking upon a project I have been desiring to create for years – a house performance.

I Hate This (The Silver Collection) will feature:

• An intimate performance for an audience of ten (10) members only, each evening. 
• A revised, updated text, to reflect the time that has passed. 
• An open bar and homemade refreshments 
• A portion of the admission will go to the Preeclampsia Foundation, whose mission is to “improve the outcomes of hypertensive disorders of pregnancy by educating, supporting and engaging the community, improving healthcare practices, and accelerating research.”

I will be reaching out to interested audience members in September. Please drop a note in the comments if you would like me to contact you.