On Regret

David and Mariah
(Kenston High School, 2001)

Twenty years ago this week, I began my tenure at Great Lakes Theater in the role which would define my life, that of an actor-teacher in the school residency program. I learned a great deal from my partner that first year. I once used the word “regret” and she said helpfully but absolutely that regret is useless.

And I’d never heard it stated so flatly like that. Regret is useless. It has no use. There is nothing to be gained from regret. You can learn from past mistakes, but regret is an emotion attached to these mistakes which serve no practical purpose. You are just feeling sorry for yourself.

When I departed Dobama Theatre, after only three years, I announced that I would attend grad school! Instead, I started Bad Epitaph Theater Company. I have regretted not attending grad school then. Why did I not attend grad school then?

I’ll tell you why. In order to attend grad school, and to be successful, I had to stop doing other things. And at the age of thirty I was not yet prepared to stop doing other things. I would have kept on doing other things, I would not have been focused. This was also true at the age of forty. 

There have always been other things I wanted to be doing. But I thought I should have been pursuing a Masters Degree. Even my own children know that there is no should.

I was not previously prepared to attend grad school. But when I turned fifty, I was. Why then? Who knows? Who cares? Let be.

Great Lakes Theater
Actor-Teachers 2021-2022

Play a Day: Bender and Brian

Trish Harnetiaux

For Wednesday, I read Bender and Brian by Trish Harnetiaux and posted at New Play Exchange.

Earlier this month, when everyone was posting their high school senior year photos (in solidarity with the Class of 2020, I guess?) I posted the "Man of the Year" picture of the character Carl Reed, a photo which is seen very briefly at the beginning of The Breakfast Club.

It's one of those you-get-it-the-second-time joke, if you are even paying attention, because that's Carl the Janitor, played by John Kapelos (he who also played the "oily bohunk" in Sixteen Candles) who exists both as a cautionary tale to the priviledged young detentionees, and also as a sounding board for Vice Principal Vernon.

Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me.
Carl: I wouldn't count on it.

Carl Reed
Shermer High School
Class of 1969

Did you know ..? Rick Moranis was originally cast as Carl the Janitor. That's right! He would have had the biggest name in the credits. Only Moranis wanted to play him with a Russian accent and have a gold tooth, like a total character. He insisted upon it.

I mean, that would been have awful right? Thrown off the balance of the entire film (so would have the shower scene, but that's another story.) And they got Kapelos, and the rest is history.

And then John Kapelos tagged himself on my Facebook photo and now we're Facebook friends, and life is totally random in that way.

Harnetiaux's Bender and Brian is a Gen X relationship fever dream, inspired by the (fictional) recasting of the actors who were originally to play those characters. We follow them over the course of over forty years as Brian and Bender (their actual names) develop and maintain a deep, life-long friendship.

The playwright's dialogue is incredible, I kept laughing out loud. Like a modern Godot, these two just keep bouncing off each other, they would be lost without each other's company. It is a loving and hilarious rumination on the nature of relationships, and at the same time exploring regret for the road not taken, a hallmark of our generation.

Tomorrow is the last day of April. Who should I read?



Source: Why Rick Moranis Was Fired From The Breakfast Club, Cinema Blend (3/15/2015)

Play a Day: Barceló On The Rocks

Marco Antonio Rodriguez

For Friday I read Barceló On the Rocks by Marco Antonio Rodriguez, a playwright whose work is available at New Play Exchange.

That skull had a tongue in it and could sing once. How the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain’s jawbone, that did the first murder!
- HAM V.i

The first murder, and in Hamlet's case the recent murder of his father by his uncle. The story of the human race is one of continual and constant betrayal, between family members, friends, and lovers.

The baggage that we carry as Americans, the collective weight of cultures without number, many who flee across the border to escape persecution, but end up bringing their oppression with them.

Rodriguez's tale is a memory play of the Dominican Republic, centering on one man who has betrayed as much as he has been betrayed. Caught between nations, abandoning his home and not yet embracing America, he burdens his sons with his shame, disappointment, and sadness.

His script is rich and layered, a tension of regret and fear from the old country haunting the otherwise everyday setting of an apartment in Washington Heights. The final moments, of honesty, confession and acceptance, are a welcome release and promise hope for the future.