New LIFE HACKS for 2016!

Have you ever felt like there was a better way to accomplish something you already have to do every single day? I do, I always feel like this, all of the time. Recently however, I have discovered some valuable, little-known, secret LIFE HACKS which have made my daily existence much, much simpler and enjoyable!

Detergent: You know how the box of laundry detergent instructs you to use a certain amount of detergent for a certain size load? Ignore that, use as little as possible, laundry detergent is strong stuff. Use, like, a teaspoon maybe for a medium size load. Your box of detergent will last a long time and believe me, no one will notice.

Carry a Notebook: Do you ever have a great idea but then forget to write it down, or worse use the "take a note" feature on your phone? If you're like me, you usually completely forget there's all these notes you've dictated into your phone. It's ridiculous! Just carry a small notebook in your pocket or jacket at all time - and don't forget a pen. When you think of something brilliant, write that down!

Shave Your Scalp: (for bald people only) For a while after losing my hair I would keep it all short and neat, but there would be all these little hairs on top of my head. Just use ordinary shaving cream and shave those suckers off! No one wants to see those pathetic, tiny hairs on your big, bald head.

Butter: What is this, the 1970s? Cook in butter, cook everything in butter. Saute onions and garlic in butter and then cook your vegetables in that. Then all your vegetables will taste great!

Aren't these great ideas? Now let us never use the term "life hack" ever again.